Peer Review for Malik Bullock

Helping him get the A

Malik's Rough Draft can be found HERE

Activity 5: Make a content Suggestion

After reading over your script for your video essay I believe that you are off to a very good start. The first thing that I noticed that I would change in your script would be the first person perspective that you take in the very beginning. You state that you are saying this or that you believe this, I believe that making the video essay first person you lower the credibility of the content because people will instantly be turned off listening to the "opinion" of an undergraduate student. Instead, I would say everything that you say without the "I". State everything as if it were a fact so people can easily believe the things that you are saying and better understand your argument. Rather than stating your opinion, you can state it as a fact and then give evidence for those points, making your points even more credible.

Another thing that I would do in your video essay is include interviews and videos about minimum wage or even news articles that you can talk over to show how relevant of a topic this is within our current world.